yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
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You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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