she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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