Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
