First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
