why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
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I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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