For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize