As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
