I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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