Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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