New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
