just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
