Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
