i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
