this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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