Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Randomize
