In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
