At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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