drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
