You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
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Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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