we have pet lesbian snakes
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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