tell your sister to shave her snatch
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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