"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
