Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize