I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
