sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
honey bunches of taint.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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