you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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