The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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