I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
