the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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