All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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