Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
