the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
