we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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