did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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