So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
