No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
