Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
