i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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