i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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