Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
