who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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