I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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