She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
