ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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