just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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