the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
