I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
