Already got asked if we're dating
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
