just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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