if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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