so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
