Sry I called you an 8
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
