you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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