what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
