He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
