How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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