question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
