He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I have aggressive nipples.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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