Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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